late night.
listening to sleeping at last, laying on my shag carpet.
can barely see except for the colored christmas lights beaming out of my broken lamp.
my room is finally warm thanks to a space heater that was given to me a few days ago.
my blinds are down, but when i open them everything outside is bright white. the snow is so beautiful. it took me 45 minutes to get home today... a trip that usually takes 10-15 minutes. some people drove slow to be careful. i drove slow to sight see.
i drove through neighborhoods to see the lights against the snow. it was beautiful.
i can't believe it's almost christmas... again. i feel like i just wrote that same sentence yesterday, even though it was last year.
my mom had surgery today. i was really worried. it's scary when it's your mom. even when everyone else says it will be fine, even when you're the one always telling other people it will be fine, it's scary when it's your mom.
the doctors removed the lump, but we won't know anything till monday.
i wish i could hold her hand. i wish i could wait right beside her. i wish i could run my fingers through her hair and tell her how much i love her.
i love you mom. the thought of you not knowing that makes me cry.
i don't think you can ever tell your mom enough how much you love and appreciate her.
don't wait for the lump to appear...
tell her now.
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2 comments:
Thanks, JJ! I have a lump in my throat now after reading your journal entry - but it a lump that I don't mind having because it is attached to my heart strings. I am glad that they got the other lump out and that the margins are clean and clear. I missed you being here - but you will be here for Christmas and that also puts a lump in my throat. Love, Ma
The last night I spent with my mom holding her, I don't even know if she knew I was there. She usually never let me hold her. But it hit a spot in my soul that gets me to cry.
So, JJ's ma: I love you and am praying for the best for you.
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