one

I've forgotten how to write. I've forgotten how to sing. I've forgotten how to even get near a guitar. I've forgotten what I love, and because of this, I've forgotten who I am.

"How did I get here?"

I was blind sided when I asked myself this question this afternoon.

"How did I get here?"

Or more appropriately, "how did I get back here?"

I discovered a love like no other over a year ago. I not only began to believe in God's love for me, I began to love myself.

What happened? Where did that go?

The process is so slow and it catches you off guard, and it breaks your heart when you realize... you are right back where you said you would never be again.

Not completely back, but back enough to completely discourage you from moving forward.

Two steps forward, one step back.

It's even harder to move forward after that one step back. That one damn step!

That one step is all it took for me to get here? That one damn step?

How can I move forward after taking a step back?

I don't know. I don't have an answer right now. And I might not have the energy to take another step forward, but I can promise you this... I'm balancing on the one step I am on, because I refuse to fall all the way back.

I know it's not much of a promise, but it's all I've got for now.