shelter me

October 1st I had the opportunity to see one of my favorite artists perform live in Chicago. I can't tell you the number of people who asked who he was when I mentioned I was going to see him.

I feel the need to educate these people.

I first heard this singer/songwriter when I entered treatment (eating disorder/depression) in February of 2007. He's been around much longer, but not having much of an interest in life prior to that time, I didn't have much of an interest in music either, as I once did when I was a child.

One of the girls I roomed with had two of his songs on an Ipod, and I fell in love. Not with him, but with his music.

I could feel his music. I didn't just listen to it... I could feel it. Which is when I realized... I could feel. I didn't have to numb out... I could feel.

When I left the treatment facility to move into a group home in Naperville, the girl sold me her Ipod for $50... an amazing deal considering the music was included.

I can remember consecutive nights crying myself to sleep while listening to the only two songs by this artist on my just-like-new $50 hot pink Ipod.

The girl I bought it from had all kinds of music downloaded, but only two songs made it to the "recently played" list.

Feeling him sing and listening to him play the guitar inspired me.

After years of not touching it, I picked my guitar back up. Well... technically, it wasn't mine, it belonged to the group home, but none the less, I picked it up and started to strum again. I started to feel again. And for the first time, I started to sing. Loud.

With eating disorders, one wants to be invisible... not seen, not heard.

For me to sing was a way of shouting from the top of my lungs "I want to live!"

I have discovered many singer/songwriters since then, but none compare to this man, at least not in my book, and not in the way that he has impacted me.

I was blessed with the chance to seem him live... an experience I won't forget. And now, I want to share him with you.

The amazing thing is, I found this video of him on YouTube, and it only contains two of his songs... the exact two that were the first I ever heard while crying myself to sleep those nights in treatment.

His name is Ray LaMontagne, and his music plays a part in the story of my recovery, and inspires me for the journey ahead.