thermals

My tea from this morning is still in my cup. It's not just luke warm, it's cold from sitting all day in an apartment occupied by four girls trying to save money by not turning on the heat.

It's definitely winter in Chicago. I can tell without even leaving my apartment... which is exactly what i haven't done today... left my apartment. In fact, I'm still in my thermals that i slept in, with a hat on my head, and two pairs of socks. The red socks are only to support the holes in the green socks... together they make a great pair.

I've spent most of my day on the couch trying to figure out how not to waste my day... huh. I'm glad my efforts weren't wasted.

There are days that I wake up and the last thing I want to do is get out of bed. These are the days that I know are most important to choose to pull down the covers, set my feet on the ground, and regardless of what I feel like, get out of bed.

I set my feet on the ground today, but I didn't go very far with them.

I'm tempted to get down on myself and remain bummed for not seizing the carp today... but instead I'm going to take my medication and choose not to punish myself.

What will it look like for me to live my life today? Other than getting off this couch, I don't know. But hopefully, in some small, free, and legal way it will look like making someone else's day instead of worrying about myself.*

I'm glad it's never too late to start.



*note to therpist: not worrying about myself does not mean not taking care of myself... don't worry.