stones

When I was in third grade I remember learning about the environment and the importance of the ozone layer. I remember my teacher, Mrs. Player, telling us about all the things humans do to kill the environment and destroy the ozone layer. She didn't necessarily word it like that, but I remember feeling so overwhelmed at the thought of our planet being destroyed and terrified at the thought of me being a cause of it.

I was a dramatic child... to say the least.

I most specifically recall learning about how bad hairspray was for the ozone layer which terrified me because my mom used hairspray. Not only that, but both my sisters and I had football helmet hair... and what kept it in place? Hairspray. My older sister specifically used a lot of hairspray because she had the Patti bangs (from Charlie Brown) and it took a lot to keep those suckers plumb and round. That was at least four of us who were killing the ozone layer.


There was a family who lived down the street from us with four kids as well. They were around our age and we often played together, built forts, and when we got a little bit older, watched inappropriate movies without our moms knowing (sorry mom). When I went through this hairspray crisis, I can vividly remember trying to formulate a plan to sneak into their house and steal all of their mom's hairspray so I could throw it away. If she thought about going to the store to buy more, I decided I would begin saving all of my money to buy all of the hairspray in all of the stores so I could get rid of it. I was going to save the world... one bottle of hairspray at a time!

Again, I was a dramatic child.

1990 marked the 20th anniversary of Earth Day and that year, in that same third grade class, we watched "The Earth Day Special" starring everybody who was anybody (back in the day). Seriously, the line up for this show was out of this world ridiculous. True to the advertisements, "prominent celebrities of film, television, sports, and music all came together to publicize the global crisis of pollution, starvation, and resource shortage."

I especially remember Bette Midler playing Mother Nature. Due to pollution she was sick and they portrayed her laying in a hospital bed. She had flowers in her hair but she was covered with garbage. Now that I think about it, they definitely had to have used hairspray to get her hair like that. Regardless, I remember being so moved by the visual of seeing mother nature die in a hospital bed, covered in trash, knowing that the only way for her to get better was for people to stop polluting.

I became so obsessed at the thought of conserving energy. I always made sure the lights were turned off, even if someone was in the room. I would open the refrigerator as fast as I could and grab what I wanted so I could close it as soon as possible. I even remember not wanting to brush my teeth because I didn't want to waste the water. Eventually I would just turn it on, wet the brush, turn it off, brush my teeth, spit, turn it on, wet the brush (quickly) and turn it back off. Anytime my family left to go somewhere, I would run around the house to make sure everything was turned off. Christmas was stressful that year.

I'm pretty sure my parents don't remember me being that obsessive, mainly because I remember wanting to be secretive about it. I didn't want other people (including my family) to think I was weird or think I was annoying, so I decided I would change the world quietly on my own and only when it was safe and mother nature was all better would I then jump out from the shadows and yell "it was me! it was me!"

Did I mention I was a dramatic child?

My intentions were good but my actions were obsessive, which led to my motives being all wrong. I started out wanting to save the environment, but I went about it at such an extreme pace that even I felt ridiculous. I wanted to change the world, but I still wanted to fit in... I didn't want to stand out until after it was changed.

Isn't life so much like that? For me it still very much is. I want to be a part of something big, I want to be set apart, I want to represent the love of Christ, but I still want to fit in. I don't think that's a good combination.

In Luke 21:17, Christ says "all men will hate you because of me..."

To follow Christ is to live an extreme life, and not everyone (including Christians) is going to agree with the extremity to which Christ calls us to live. I have a desire to be extreme, but I fall short in representing it. I worry much more about being relevant than I do about being extreme. I find myself attempting the extreme with a relevant attitude so as not to be shot down by those who don't agree with me.

If you keep reading the passage in Luke, right after Christ says that we will be hated because of Him, He says "but not a hair on your head will perish. By standing firm you will gain life." It is not our relevancy that will keep us from "harm." It is by standing firm in the truth regardless of how different it makes us look. Christ protects us from the enemy. Christ penetrates the heart of the unbeliever, not my ability to be relevant.

I'm not suggesting that relevancy is a completely bad thing... Christ can use our relevancy if He so chooses, but we should be quick to realize that it is not how "cool" or "relevant" we are that wins the heart of His people, it is Christ Himself.

Obviously, I never ended up saving the environment. As a third grader, I didn't understand that there was no way I could do it on my own. The mere fact that I legitimately thought I could buy all the hairspray in the world and throw it all away should tell you just how much I didn't understand. Even though I acted in extreme ways, I didn't understand what it meant to be extreme. I didn't understand that in order be be extreme I had to be set apart... I had to be different... and I had to do so consistently, not just when I felt like it.

After a while I got tired of saving the environment on my own. Instead of asking for help or for realistic ways I might be able to help, I just gave up. It's as if because I couldn't do it my way I didn't want to do it at all.

It's funny how even now at 26, I can still act so much like a third grader (sometimes).

My prayer is that we wouldn't be afraid to be extremists... extremists in love... unwilling to keep quiet. Because regardless, the glory of God will be revealed! In case you haven't heard, even if we keep quiet "the stones will cry out" (Luke 19:40).

And if that's the case...





we might as well get loud and undignified!