be calm

I went to see one of my favorite bands perform about a week ago in Southeast Portland, and it was, to say the least, amazing. Well ok, the venue wasn't that great and the number of teeny boppers greatly out weighed the number of "older, more mature concert goers" such as myself that I thought would be there, but audience surroundings aside, the performance put on by the lead singer was out of this world.

As I think about it, maybe that's what was so great about it, maybe he wasn't really "performing" but just being real with the audience. The emotion you felt as he sang about his heartache just made you want to smile and cry all at the same time. Smile because, as he put it, he's finally happy, but cry because the songs he sang just poured out such heavy emotions that thinking of him going through such a hard time was just too much for you to take in, even if you only knew him as someone on stage.

As he started to sing my favorite song of his, he pointed out that it had been written on the very street we were on. He said he was here in Portland visiting his sister and they were walking down Hawthorne street, which is coincidentally one of my favorite streets in Portland, and it was just a really rough season of life for him. As they walked, they passed a homeless man who just kept singing over and over again to himself "be calm, be calm, be calm." Nate, the lead singer, wrote it down and the words stuck with him, until this song came out of it.

There's one place, as of right now, where I can go and feel at home. When things are hard, or I am sad or lonely, or I just want to read and write, I go to this little coffee shop in Southeast Portland, on Hawthorne street and I sit and feel as if every thing is right with the world. In fact, as I sit here and type this I am in that very coffee shop, feeling very calm and peaceful even though I know when I walk out that door, I will have to face the heartache that I feel I am experiencing during this time of transition.

And so, I think back to the song I heard that was written on this very street, and as I prepare to head out and walk down that street, I hum this tune and remind myself to be calm. I know I feel like I am breaking down, and everything's wrong, and that it gets so hard sometimes, but JJ, just be calm.


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Be Calm by fun.

As I walk through the streets of my new city
my back feeling much better, I suppose
I've reclaimed the use of my imagination
for better or for worse, I've yet to know
but I always knew you'd be the one to understand me,
I guess that's why it took so long to get things right.
Suddenly I'm lost
On my street
On my block

Oh why, Oh why
Oh why haven't you been there for me?
Can't you see, I'm losing my mind this time?
This time I think it's for real, I can see

All the tree tops turning red
The beggars near bodegas grin at me
I think they want something
I close my eyes, I tell myself to breathe

and be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes.
Be calm.

I'm scared that everyone is out to get me.
"These days before you speak to me you pause."
"I always see you looking out your window."
"After all, you lost your band, you left your mom."
Now every single crack, every penny that I pass,
says I should either leave or pick it up
But with every single buck I've made
I'm saddled with bad luck that came

the moment I was baptized
or when I found out one day I'm gonna die
if only I could find my people or my place in life
a when they come a'carolin'
so loud, so bright, the theremin
will lead us to a chorus
where we'll all rejoice and sing a song that goes:

Oh be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
I know that it gets so hard sometimes,
Be calm.
Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.
You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive
and everything's wrong
It just gets so hard sometimes
Be calm.

I don't remember much that night,
Just walking, thinking fondly of you
Thinking how the worst is yet to come
When from that street corner came a song
And I can't remember the man,
The panhandler or his melody.
The words exchanged had far exceeded any change I'd given thee.

Oh be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes,
Be calm.
Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.
You hate your pulse because it still thinks you're alive
and everything's wrong
It just gets so hard sometimes
Be calm.
Be calm.