Girls, Girls, Girls

"Many of the girls who wrote about dark problems were, on the surface, “perfect” girls—smart, pretty, and popular. Why do you think teenagers fall prey to such problems when they appear so outwardly happy?"


I found this question online... it's referencing a book by Sara Shandler called Ophelia Speaks. The themes of which include adolesence, body image, sexuality, friendship, self-identity, family relationships, etc...

The book shares the "harsh realities of being young and female," and is done so by actual girls writing in and sharing their stories with the author... girls we thought were perfect, girls we thought had it all together, girls who looked happy. But behind the scenes was a whole nother story. This trend continues today... with girls of all ages, all sizes, all looks, all colors. Insecurity doesn't come in one shape, insecurity comes with being human, and it's a characteristic that some openly express and one that others have learned to mask too well, myself included.

I haven't had the opportunity to read the book yet, so I won't go into it until I have done so, but this question really caught my attention.

So many of us look to society, which is literally just a big group of people, as the standard for how we should live our lives, from what we eat to what we wear, and everything in between.


Why???


Why do we need other people to tell us how to live? A vast majority of girls today are living their lives based upon what's cool or what's popular or what someone else says they should do. They're learning to do what is necessary to fit in despite what they want. They don't even know what they want. They think they want to fit in, but they have no idea that that really doesn't even matter, and if they knew it didn't matter, they wouldn't want it.


Girls today are trying to "grow up" younger and younger in an attempt (maybe even an unknown attempt) to skip their childhood. And it's sad. It's sad to see 6th grade girls wearing mid-drift tank tops and heavy make up. It's sad to see girls starting to diet as young as fourth grade. It's sad to see girls I used to babysit for post pictures of themselves on Myspace in their bathing suits. It's sad to hear about middle schoolers having sex. It's sad that society is telling them that this is ok, and even more sad they they think it's cool and that they need the attention they get from it to validate them.


I wish girls could see the value in themselves without feeling like they need to give up a part of themselves in order to do so.


And when I say girls, I include myself. I include myself as a girl who thinks her value lies in what the world thinks of her. I include myself as a girl with distorted body image who trys to reach an unattainable goal of perfection. I include myself as a girl who wants to believe so badly that looks don't matter, but does everything she can to try and make the mirror happy... a mirror with unrealistic standards and a voice that says "you'll never be good enough."


But... I also include myself as a girl who is willing to fight for herself and for girls everywhere who believe the lies of a mixed up world. Who, though she is weak and is easily swayed by those around her, will not give up. I refuse.


I'll fall down, a lot, but God will pull me up, time and time again. And each time he does, I'm pulling two girls up with me.