the carnival

Talk about culture shock...

I went to "Last Fling" downtown Naperville this past Saturday night. They had all kinds of carnival rides, food booths, beer tents, flashy lights, and you name it, it was there... cotton candy, water guns, and even Gavin DeGraw (he's a singer, mom).

Talk about culture shock!

My friends and I had to walk right through the middle of all the chaos in order to get to where Gavin DeGraw was singing... on the other side of the "carnival."

I didn't even think about it, I just started walking... through a sea full of middle schoolers with cell phones and high schoolers with gaudy jewellery, I started walking. Lights were flashing everywhere, rides were moving rapidly, food was all over the ground, and all around were screams of mini roller coasters and ticket collectors trying to guess your age, height, or weight.

I felt sick.

I made it OK on the way to Gavin DeGraw, but on the way back I couldn't handle it. My friends wanted to stop and watch some of the rides, but I couldn't do it. I told them I would meet them at the corner and I took off down another street that was dark and quiet. It was nice, even though the screams of the rides and the people on them followed me for a while.

I knew I had to get out of that crowd because I felt like I was going to start crying.

I thought about children that I met in Africa and faces that I saw. I saw faces of joy and faces of complete and utter hopelessness.

I thought about this one girl... I can't even remember her name... but I thought about her. She was wearing a pale pink tank top with a long turquoise skirt. Her head was shaved, and of course, she had a beautiful smile. I would say she was some where in the 14-16 year old range (I know, not a big range, but it was one of the three). For half of the day she sat in my arms. She held on to me as if she never wanted me to leave. I didn't want to leave, but I knew the time would come. The time always comes.

Before leaving that day I went onto the bus and I got a hot pink bandanna out of my bag. I had gotten the bandanna at Wal-Mart for 94 cents... literally... 94 cents. I folded it up in my hand and when I went to say goodbye, I opened her palms and I placed the bandanna in her hands.

She held it up, took the biggest gasp of air, grabbed me in her arms, and she shook me, literally shook me, for about 2 minutes straight. Then she'd hold me back so she could get a good look at me, smile huge, close her eyes, and grab me in her arms again only to shake me some more.

She literally held on to me hugging me like this (every now and again leaning back to look me in the eye and smile) for over five minutes.

Who hugs someone for that long?

Five minutes may not sound like a long time, but try hugging someone for 5 minutes straight and see how long it is.

People don't hug like that... at least not for a 94 cent bandanna.

She did.

I will never forget that hug. I remember tearing as she was hugging me, wondering why I deserved such a hug.

Maybe that's just it... I didn't deserve it, but she treated me like I did.

I don't deserve much, but Christ treats me like I do.

A 14-16 something year old African girl showed me Christ.

But I was the missionary... right?

Nah... every one is a missionary... you just have to ask yourself, what's your mission?

To a degree we are all called to the same mission... Love God and love others.

She loved me that day, in a way I didn't deserve to be loved. I didn't do anything special... I gave her something I didn't want any more. It wasn't a selfless act, nor was it heroic in anyway, but none the less, she loved me.

She was grateful... something I haven't been in a long time (probably because I'm so busy focusing on myself). But when I really stop, and look around, and think about all that I have, I have no reason not to be grateful. No reason!

And so... I really do hope those kids had fun that night in downtown Naperville. But I hope that they were grateful they could be there... that they could have fun, that they could go home that night, take a shower if desired, get into a bed, and wake up in the morning to breakfast and a school bus, or a ride from mom or whatever. I'm not saying at all that people should go without these things, I'm not saying Naperville shouldn't have a carnival, or that middle schoolers shouldn't have cell phones (although I do think it slightly ridiculous) or high schoolers, gaudy jewellery... I'm just saying that we all, and I include myself in this, we all should be grateful for what we have.

Even if it is only a 94 cent bandanna from Wal-Mart.