the reality of simplicity

I forgot today was Saturday. Maybe it's because I always work on Saturdays so it never actually feels like Saturday to me.

I woke up, made some coffee, grabbed a bowl of vanilla pudding (with bananas and strawberries, of course), hopped back in my bed and read my most recently favorite book for a while. The book I am reading right now makes me want to travel all the more than I already do. As I started planning trips in my head to big cities and remote islands, I decided I would check my bank account.

Then I stopped planning.

I sat in my bed for a while and swam around in my thoughts. After what may have appeared like a long moment of silence to onlookers (had there been some in my room), I shot up, threw my covers off and said out loud... "I may not know what I'm doing with my life, but I'm gonna do something!"

My student account at Moody has been on hold since the end of last semester because I never turned in my health forms. I guess they were a little late in noticing because apparently I never should have been able to register in the first place… whoops.

So today when I jumped out of bed, I grabbed my health forms that I had finally made copies of (OK, actually my mom made copies of them when I was home visiting… thank you, mom!), and I ran to Moody so I could turn them in and register for class, all the while thinking “I may not know what I’m doing, but I’m gonna do something!”

Now, when I say I ran to Moody, usually I would explain to you that I am exaggerating a bit, seeing as how I don’t run anymore unless I hear an ice cream truck, but this time its the truth… I literally ran to Moody. The funny thing is, I don’t even know why I was running, nor did I realize I was doing it until I was half way there. What am I doing? I thought to myself, why the hell am I running? There’s no ice cream truck, and even if there was, it’s too freakin’ cold… although I don’t think I would care if it were dippin’ dots… those are so good…Wait… why the crap am I still running?

As I was running I started smiling, and that caught me off guard too… why am I smiling now?

So I'm running in the wind, because let's face it, its Chicago, I'm smiling like an idiot, and I have no idea why, nor do I seem to be able to stop myself. For some reason I seem to ignore the fact that I may possibly be excited about starting classes again in the fall and instead convince myself that it is annoyingly chilly and I need to run so as to keep warm (keep in mind, I never ran once during the winter).

I finally make it to the front doors of the alumni center and walk inside, nearly out of breath. The few students who are in there look at me as if I had just ran a marathon or something. The cafe was closed and everything was so quiet, but I walked confidently up to the front desk where I saw a young man in a tie and v-neck sweater and right as I was about to ignore him and walk upstairs, it hit me... its Saturday.

So I stop, as if I was planning on it the whole time, and ask him if health services is open. He is very nice and informs me that nothing on campus is really open on Saturdays, which makes sense but just not something I thought of while I was running with a hanger-in-the-mouth smile down the sidewalk.

I inform him that I'll come back Monday and he informs me that everything will be closed on Monday as well seeing as it is an institutional day off (the day before finals). I think my face looked something like a cross between getting kicked in the stomach and being told I won Miss America... really bummed and really confused (while some girls would be ecstatic at the thought of being crowned the face of our nation, I would be seriously concerned... who in their right mind would vote me Miss America?).

I guess he notices my facial expression and my concern for our nation were I to represent it, so he starts typing fervently away on his computer... "let me just double check for you, I'm not 100% sure if EVERYTHING will be closed."

I like this guy.

He tells me he's not actually sure because its not listed on the website, so my best bet would be to call on Monday morning. He writes down the number for me and sends me on my way. I walk slowly out of the building, a much different exit than entrance, put my head phones on and just stand right outside the door.

I don't know if it was because the wind had picked up or my attitude had shifted, but I hung my head, much like Charlie Brown when he gets the wrong kind of Christmas tree, and just took my time walking back to my apartment (even though I could have kept warm by running). I look down at the paper the guy in the tie gave me and I read out loud... "food services... 312-yada-yada-yada." I rolled my eyes and put the paper in my bag. Honestly, I can see how you could mix up food services and health services.

Nonetheless, I couldn't help but feel like I was being blocked. How come as soon as I decide I want to do something, the walls go up? I think to myself (maybe a little out loud... to the Lord).

He responds... how come you wait so long to decide?

So I respond... how come you wait so long to tell me?

So he responds (instead scolding, which is what I would have done if my child had gotten that sassy with me)... who says I waited this long to tell you?

I get frustrated... well... DAAAAHHHHH!!!!

I get quiet, realizing I am no longer the over-enthusiastic smiling runner, but now the crazy lady who walks up and down the sidewalk "talking to herself" (probably a more fitting description of myself).

See, this is what I do... I take my time, I do want I want, I even get lazy, but as soon as I make the decision to get my butt in gear and get moving, I assume everybody else should be ready too. When things don't happen at the moment I want them to happen, instead of waiting (actively not lazily) I get frustrated and give up.

I actually had to stop myself from saying "maybe this is a sign I'm not supposed to go back to school!"

I can picture God throwing his hands over his head, yet remaining very patient... "no, it means health services is closed on the weekends so people can relax, and possibly on Monday because the students have finals to worry about... not everything is about you."

Ouch.

Followed by...

duh.

Not everything is about me. There's not a conspiracy at Moody to keep me my from getting the hold off of my account so I can register for classes. It's just the weekend, the weekend of finals, and to the relief of 99.9% of the students, a long weekend, meaning no class on Monday. My frustration at wanting to get things done now, or at the very least, by Monday, are another students relief at having an extra day to study for exams without having to worry about class on top of that.

Waiting till Tuesday doesn't mean giving up, it means waiting till Tuesday.

Oh, the reality of simplicity.

Duh.