Thank You!

I got emotional driving home tonight.

I realize it was partly because I am a girl, and that's what we do, but it was mainly because of God, and what he has done... with me.

I met with my mentor earlier today and then I went to a support group for girls who graduated from the eating disorder program I was in over the summer. Afterward, a group of us went out to eat and just continue our fellowship.

I was telling some of the girls that on February 5th of this year I will have one year of recovery under my belt. Wow.

I started thinking about last year when I entered treatment. I started thinking about the life I lived prior to treatment, and even the life I lived while first entering treatment. I thought about how I was in such a different place, not only physically, but mentally. It was like going into shock all over again when I realized how far God had brought me, and how faithful he has been to me.

I was honestly amazed even at the thought of just driving home... to where I live now... in Warrenville, IL. I was amazed that I had just been out to eat with a group of friends and I was OK... and I was going to go home, and I was going to be OK. Just the thought of being OK overwhelmed me. I am OK. Do you know how phenomenal it is to say that and really mean it?

I pray that everyone could have revelations like this in their everyday lives... that we are OK. We may not be going on exotic trips, or winning the lottery, throwing fabulous parties, or dancing with the stars, we may not have the job of our dreams, or even one that we like, but we can still be OK.

Just start small.

I started with realizing that I was just able to drive home. I was able to drive home after eating dinner. And after eating dinner, I was able to drive home and get ready for bed. I didn't have to drive home and binge since I had already eaten. I didn't have to drive home and purge since I had already eaten. It didn't have to be all or nothing. I simply got to drive home, and get ready for bed.

So I thought about this, and I cried.

And all I could say was "Thank you!"

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.