i saw the sign

I went to a used record store yesterday and found an Ace of Base CD for only 49 cents.

Remember these fabulous four from Sweden? With hits like The Sign, Don't Turn Around and It's a Beautiful Life, they pretty much sealed their fate as one of the top pop bands of the 90s (if not the top pop band of the 90s) and have forever remained ingrained in my mind as one of my favorite life lessons from my dad.

Let's see... it was 1994 and I was 11 years old. Being in sixth grade at the time, I can still remember certain recesses very vividly. I remember the time I pushed Daniel Eckerd off of the play ground. I remember the time when Chase Davis dared me to swear and so I mustered out "HELL" out loud and "icopter" under my breath. I remember overhearing Mr. Jenkins say "bullshit" as an implication that someone was lying. Being intrigued by this new word I went home and used it in its proper context. I remember standing tall in front of my parents, expecting to be complimented for telling them the truth about my little brother lying to them... "that's bullshit" I said, proudly.

But let's just say little brother wasn't necessarily the one who got in trouble. I think it was around that time that I began to dislike soap.

For Christmas that year, all the sixth graders in my class huddled around Mr. Jenkins as he opened all of our presents. The present I gave Mr. Jenkins was actually a book from my mom... 'How to be Born Again' by Billy Graham. I was mortified. Truth be told, as a sixth grader I don't think I really understood what it meant to be "born again" any more than Mr. Jenkins did, who laughed when he read the title and said (in front of the class), "what, am I supposed to learn how to go back in my mother's womb?" A modern day Nicodemus, that man. I just sat there quietly and shrugged my shoulders.

I don't think Mr. Jenkins ever read that book because I learned a few more choice words from him that year which lead to more gifts from my mother that very blatantly implied his need for Jesus.

That same year Ace of Base debuted their first album with a #1 hit song, "The Sign," and everyone fell in love with it. Not just sixth graders, but high schoolers too, which is what made it cool. I can remember always singing about how I saw the sign even though I had no clue what the sign was. We always sang about the sign at recess. I couldn't wait to get the album.

I don't know how I was able to obtain it, if I borrowed it or actually bought it (I wasn't stealing at this point yet... another story), but some how I remember playing that CD over and over again. I would hit repeat and the whole album would just play straight through and start all over. Even when I left the house, I'd put it on repeat so that when I came back I could walk in my room and hear it playing (have I ever mentioned I was kind of a weird child?).

The last time I ever implemented my genius idea to hit repeat and leave the house, I returned not to my music playing, but to my dad sitting at the kitchen table, holding the Ace of Base CD jacket in his hands, with a look that said "let's talk, shall we?"

I had no reason to be nervous, but I couldn't understand why he would be holding my CD jacket, looking at the lyrics.

He asked me to sit down.

I can so vividly remember the conversation that then took place...

"Have you ever read the lyrics to these songs?" dad asked.

Honestly, I had never even thought to read the lyrics because I already knew all of them by heart just from listening.

"no, not really," I responded.

"But you know all the words," he said.

"well yea, cause I listen to it all the time."

"So do you know what they mean?" he asked.

What does he mean, do I know what they mean? "I don't know, they're just words."

"So you've never sat and thought about what they mean?"

OK seriously, what is his point, its like the best music ever, "not really I just like the music, I like listening to it!"

My dad was quiet for a second, "OK, well I'm just going to read this song to you and you tell me what you think it means,"

Oh crap.

The song he chose to read oh-so-carefully and oh-so-slowly was "All That She Wants" and all I wanted was to yank the CD out of his hand and run upstairs. But I sat quietly and listened as he read it word for word, looking up at me every so often to explain to me what was going on during certain parts in the song.

It went like this...


She leads a lonely life
She leads a lonely life

When she woke up late in the morning light
And the day had just begun
She opened up her eyes and thought
Oh what a morning
It's not a day for work
It's a day for catching tan
Just lying on the beach and having fun
She's going to get you

(Interject dad here: "this is talking about her skipping work, or school, and just going to the beach which is completely irresponsible.")

All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby
All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby
All that she wants - all that she wants

(Interject dad here: "she just wants to have a baby? Do you think that is appropriate?")

He continued...

So if you are in sight and the day is right
She's the hunter you're the fox
The gentle voice that talks to you won't talk forever
It is a night for passion
But the morning means goodbye
Beware of what is flashing in her eyes
She's going to get you

(Interject dad here: "she's not married to this person, she is just looking for somebody... anybody, to give her a baby." I'm pretty sure my dad was unaware that I had already had the sex talk at this point, so the best way he could describe having sex was by saying "she wants to have a baby.")

And still, he continued...

All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby
All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby

All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby
All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby
All that she wants - all that she wants

(Interject dad last time: "so she wants to skip work, go to the beach instead and just find someone so she can have a baby. What is that teaching you? Do you think you should be listening to these lyrics?" Mind you, he was very calm in his asking, so I felt less threatened.)

Truth be told, as much as I wanted to laugh at my dad, I was kind of shocked by the lyrics. I had never actually read them or sat and carefully listened to them, so I really had no clue what was going on. I still liked the song, but I didn't like the lyrics as much... I didn't want to have a baby.

While my dad may not have completely gotten the idea of what was going on in the song, or just didn't completely explain it, he understood enough to question if I actually knew what I was listening to.

This is something I love about my dad... he didn't yell at me for listening to the song, leaving me confused as to what I had done "wrong," he asked if I understood what the song meant and then proceeded to explain it (as best as he could), only to ask me what I thought the appropriate response would be.

So yesterday I'm in this used record store and I see this CD and all the memories come flooding back. For 49 cents, I just had to reminisce.

I started thinking about the day my dad sat me down and read me those lyrics word for word. I laughed to myself but then started thinking about the bigger picture of what happened that day...

I knew those words by heart yet had never taken the time to think about what they meant, let alone read them. I had no reason to read them, I already "knew" them. But honestly, I didn't know them, I knew a group of words put together, but I didn't know their meaning. And I'm not saying that I should have known better in sixth grade, I still think that was a tremendously funny experience (and still listened to the song), but my dad had a point...

I should know what I'm saying before I speak it. I can easily memorize and repeat things, but do I actually take the time to understand what they mean?

I can tell you what John 3:16 says, I'm sure most of you could do the same, but I can also honestly tell you that I never actually read the verse until last semester. Even when I have read the book of John before, I would just kind of skip over that part because it was like "yea, I know, for God so loved the world, yada yada yada..."

That's the problem with being a preacher's kid, you think you know everything because you learned it all in Sunday school, then you grow up and go to graduate school and realize maybe you don't actually know anything. It's a good thing they make you read in graduate school.

For a majority of my life I would say that my faith was based on what I overheard my parents talk about or on what I memorized for my Sunday school teachers. I can honestly say I had no idea what having a personal relationship with Christ meant until I was in college. I honestly don't think I had ever actually read the Bible until then.

I can remember calling my dad the day I had this new found revelation about Christ...

"Dad!! I get it!! It's about having a personal relationship with Christ!!"

I could hear my dad smile in excitement, but laugh in some sort of disbelief as he asked, "what did you think I've been talking about all these years?"

"I don't know," I laughed, "I was always wondering when you were gonna stop talking so we could go have lunch!"

My point in saying all this is not to condemn Ace of Base listeners... I bought the CD yesterday, and danced to it today. My point is to ask (you and myself) what my dad was asking me that day, not just in regards to music lyrics, but in regards to the way you live your life based on what you believe... do you know what it means?

Whether you're a Christ follower, be it Catholic or Protestant, whether atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, Mormon, Jewish, Agnostic, or you believe in your cat... ask yourself why? And don't give up looking for that answer until you have searched everything. Don't just listen to what other people say and repeat it, don't just listen to what I say and repeat it... seek it out for yourself.

A fellow misfit commented on my blog the other day when I wrote about being a misfit at Moody Theological Seminary, and in case you don't read the comments, I wanted to share what he wrote..

"Four years of being a misfit are coming to a close in the next two weeks and in a strange way, I'm walking away with more blood on my hands than when I arrived; my faith is no longer a simple thing that excludes certain stories or movies or songs due to "questionable content" and I can't wait to have a beer at the end of next week, but just because it's a more difficult faith doesn't make it bad. In fact, it is more of a reasoned faith than a blind faith and I believe that is what God wants from us. Would he really want us to just blindly follow these pastors and preachers? No, he wants us to test everything and hold onto what is good."


That needs to be repeated...


Test everything and hold on to what is good.