moody misfit

The day started the way every Monday does... therapy.

I sat in her office with confusion and frustration about where I'm at in life. The confusion and frustration being that I don't know where I'm at in life.

I'm an explorer, I'm a traveler, I'm an artist and a writer. What am I doing in grad school at Moody Theological Seminary? I don't need a master's degree to love people the way Christ has taught us to love, so what am I doing in pursuit of one? And why at Moody?

I can definitely say that I am a minority amongst the Moody culture... not racially, but Spiritually, I guess. I may have been a (Southern Baptist) preacher's kid, which would typically make Moody a good fit for me, but maybe the mere fact that I was a (Southern Baptist) preacher's kid is why I now find myself in opposition to a lot of the extreme conservatism I have encountered at Moody.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not slamming Moody... it is truly an amazing school and I have learned more about Scripture in one semester than I have my whole life, but I would be lying if I were to say I fit perfectly into the Moody culture.

My therapist, being a graduate of Moody, understands this completely, as she herself was a misfit when she attended.

I sat in her office and I listened to her affirm me in being a Moody misfit. She said it was OK and that I don't have to conform, which was tremendously freeing for me seeing as that she not only graduated from Moody, but is currently on staff.

I love watching movies of all sorts, I love music of all genres (minus techno unless... nah, minus techno), I don't always have the cleanest language, I think the whole idea of "courting" is stupid (feel free to ask for a definition), I go to comedy clubs and live shows, I enjoy a good glass of red wine (or let's be honest, even crappy red wine), I love to dance... maybe not so much at dance clubs, but any and everywhere, and even though I know the Bible is critical in drawing closer to God, I feel I draw the closest to Him through music and travel.

These are not necessarily characteristics that Moody hopes their average student exhibits.

I am not their average student. Yet I am here. And the question is, do I stay and battle through that or do I go and find a better fit for me? Neither is right or wrong, God will be glorified regardless, so if its simply just a choice I have to make, how do I choose?

Come fall, all of my roommates are moving on to their next phases of life, which means they are moving on from this apartment we share. As much as I love the excitement and adventure of the unknown, I'm also terrified of it... but the combination of feeling both emotions so intensely makes me feel truly alive. And even though I may not know where I'm at in life, I can't necessarily say that I don't like it.

Though there is confusion and frustration, there is peace in knowing that God has got me. And even though I often do, the truth is that I do not have to worry about anything, because God has got me. He's got me now and He's got me come fall. And whether I move on or remain a Moody misfit, God has got me.

As Sam Cooke once sang so beautifully, "a change is gonna come" but I'm not worried...

because God has got me.