"I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be, so it's easier to remember who I am."

-Brian Andreas

Sunday, June 15, 2008

cotton balls and candy

I'm leaving tomorrow for Africa.

There's some kind of tornado going on where I live and I'm leaving tomorrow for Africa.

I woke up this morning to a thunder storm and it was amazing! I love sleeping in when it's storming. I opened my windows and watched the storm from my bed, which is pressed right up against them. I watched the wind pick up and the trees sway. I even felt mists of rain blow in and hit my face. It was amazing!

As I'm enjoying the storm I naively think to myself "wow, it's getting kind of rough out there," and I just continue to watch as the trees bend sideways. The wind is picking up even more, the rain is now pouring through my window, and our power has now gone out, but I'm so caught up in enjoying the scenery that I don't see the danger in it. Before I know it my roommate busts in my room and says we're having a tornado and I need to shut my windows and go down to the basement.

To be honest I'm kind of bummed. I wanted to watch the tornado from my room. But as I'm shutting my windows I start to wonder if maybe this really is serious. My first thought is of Africa. All of my luggage is in my room, along with supplies and clothes I am taking with me for the people in the villages.

Now... my grandmother is famous for worrying... my mom can be known for it as well... this morning I realized I may have picked that up...

"Oh my gosh... what if the wind breaks my windows and blows everything out, or a tree falls on the roof and destroys everything... what if all the cotton balls blow away... or the candy gets destroyed... I can't afford to get anymore... Lord please... just let me get to Africa first then blow away my house if you want!"

Now honestly, do I want God to blow away my house? No. I don't. I want to have a house to come back to, that would be nice, but ultimately, I just want to go to Africa. I realize I may need to be careful with what I say because who knows if God is going to test me on it, but I just want to go to Africa... "Please Lord, just get me on that plane, land me in Uganda, and do want you want with the house."

Easy for me to say, I don't own the house... my roommate, who does, might feel differently.

We sit in the basement for a while until it passes... and it does. I go back in my room, lay on my bed, open my windows and watch the remainder of what little storm is left.

I lay there for a while... watching and thinking.

I decide to call my dad.

He didn't answer so I proceed to leave a message singing "happy father's day" to the tune of "happy holidays." As I finish off "happy father's day to yoooooooou," he beeps through.

He fills me in on how the family is doing. He says he is making pancakes for everyone... a family favorite on any holiday or special occasion. I realize pancakes are pancakes, but there's something about the way my dad makes pancakes that I can't explain... they are perfect! Golden and crispy on the outside, warm and moist on the inside. Yum! I get slightly jealous thinking of everyone sitting around the table eating pancakes.

But then I realize... I'm going to Africa!!! Screw pancakes!!

When we get off the phone I hop out of bed and try to figure out what I will do for breakfast. I have no food in the house since I am leaving for two weeks... I'm not going to go get groceries the day before I leave... and I really don't have much money to spend before the trip... but I need to eat... hmmm...

"Church!" I think to myself. One thing I love about going to Church (in all seriousness) is the free food. I always go to Church on Saturday nights, but this morning I needed breakfast, so I decided I would go again. As I'm leaving my neighborhood I see debris all over and even a house with a tree through the roof. Wow... maybe it was more serious than I thought. And maybe God did hear me when I asked Him not to blow away my house yet. Maybe He really does want to get me on that plane, and land me in Uganda. Maybe He really does want to use me in some big, huge way... even if it is only to hand out cotton balls and candy.

All I know is, I'm ready.

1 comment:

Shelley said...

blessings on your trip JJ, I know God is with you.